Some would believe the secret to success in getting the person you want, is by being absolutely in charge and not letting up despite the reaction of the other person. Having said that, Joyce Carol Oates, ”Where are you going, Where Have you been?” is a story about a man named Arnold Friend who tries aggressively to get a young girl named Connie to be with him. Connie is a person that does not get any positive attention at home. She looks for attention in the street, where she meets a man named Arnold Friend. Connie is initially attracted to Arnold as he gives her some positive attention, and then becomes afraid of Arnold, because of his over aggressive and threading behavior to get Connie to leave with him.

The first time Connie shows her interest in Arnold is at the drive-in restaurant as she is leaving with a boy named Eddie. She is leaving to go and get something to eat and to take pleasure in the freedom she has for the moment. Connie notices Arnold as she walks with Eddie to his car: “Connie slit her eyes at him and turned away, but she couldn’t help for glancing back and there he was still watching her” (Oates 695). Arnold shows Connie he is fascinated in her: “

Arnold aggressive behavior becomes very threading. He tells Connie what she is going to do: “’Now what you’re going to do is this: you’re going to come out that door. You’re going to sit up front with me and Ellie’s going to sit in the back… You’re my date. I’m your lover, honey’” (Oates 701). Arnold lets Connie know in a round about way that he is going to have sex with her. Arnold says, “Yes, I am your lover. You don’t know what that is but you will” (Oates 701). He even tells her how he will have sex with her: “I’ll hold you so tight you won’t think you have to try to get away or pretend anything because you’ll know you can’t. And I’ll come in side you where it’s all secret and you’ll give in to me and you’ll love me” (Oates 701). Connie is afraid and does not like what Arnold is saying to her: “She backed away from the door. She put her hands against her ears as if she’d heard something terrible” (Oates 701). Connie is extremely terrified and she strongly wants Arnold to leave. Nancy Bishop Dessommes, O’Connor’s Mrs. May and Oates’s Connie: an unlikely pair of religious initiates. (flannery O’Connor, Joyce Carol Oates) Nancy Bishop” writes, “Connie becomes more and more frightened as Arnold Friend makes sexual suggestions…” (Dessommes). Connie tells Arnold, “Get the hell out of here!” (Oates 701) When Connie tells Arnold that she is going to call the police, he controls the situation by threading her. He tells her if she calls the police he will come in her house. Afraid he just may come in the house, this prevents her from calling the police. Critical Analysis Stephen Slimp supports this when he writes, “Eventually Arnold threatens to enter the house if she attempts to call the ploice then predicts that Connie will sooner or later come out to him. Connie’s panic mounts;” (Slimp) Arnold takes his threats to another level. He’s not only threading Connie, he threatens to hurt her family: “This is how it is, honey: you come out and we’ll drive away, have a nice ride. But if you don’t come out we’re gonna wait till your people come home and then they’re all going to get it” (Oates 703)

Connie becomes terrified of

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