Although parents are not doing this intentionally, they are also dealing with a complexity of many guilt and self-indulgent issues themselves. In families of today, parents are finding less and less time to devote to

How does all of this affect our children in their adult life? Bredehoft conducted a study, (ACO), to examine how being overindulged as a child affected adulthood temperament. The information was taken through a survey of 730 adults, 124 of which named themselves as adult children of overindulgence or spoiling. Of the similar feelings they reported, all had feelings of confusion, guilt and embarrassment, as well as feeling ignored. Other researchers have found that they become self-centered, angry and non-motivated. There are self-control issues and often times they become greedy individuals. If a child is shown that their every want is provided for them, then they will in fact become self-centered. They have been told, by their parent’s actions, that they are the center of the universe. When the focus is shifted from them, they become angry and may act out in socially unacceptable ways. Such as, a young child who is trying to gain her parents attention by banging on the table continually while her parent is on a phone call. (Ehrensaft, 1997) They are showing that they are self-centered and angry by their behavior when going into a fit of rage if they are not responded to immediately. The child is clearly demonstrating that they feel their want for attention is more important than anything else at that moment. It is the parents’ job to teach the child that there are priorities in life and that there may be something else more important than that child’s immediate need.

All of this leads us to realize the effects of spoiling and overindulging our children. We are raising a generation of individuals who will have trouble meeting everyday challenges, and who have no real character. They are becoming self-centered, greedy and un-motivated. Most will have issues with self-control, as well as feelings of confusion and embarrassment later in life. By sheltering our children from everyday evils, we are not giving them the tools and opportunities needed to draw from to become productive adult citizens who contribute to their families and the world at large. Children have not been taught to appreciate the privileges that they have. Privileges come with responsibilities and many of today’s children are denied the chance to understand what responsibility is. We are letting our guilt from too little time get in the way of the important family structure that a child needs to understand limits. More importantly, we are over-nurturing them, depriving them of unpleasant experiences and pushing them to succeed to soon. “Our children are collapsing under the strain of having to be adults.” (Ehrensaft, 1997) These issues are not the fault of the children. Unfortunately, without our recognition of this growing problem, these issues become their burden.

The end result of raising children, we hope, should be that they become a productive and responsible member of society. They should become adults who are emotionally capable in coping with daily stresses and be socially adept in many different situations. The overall factor that came to light during this research was the guilt an adult brings to parenting; lack of time with the child, and confusion between parent needs and the needs of the child. The guilt of working so many hours, leads a parent to compensate for this lack of time by not structuring the little

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