Dancing With Intimacy - Book Review
At first glance of the bibliography of possible books for this course, I was leaning towards those regarding families and/or adolescence. After noticing someone had signed up for my first choice, Reviving Ophelia, I decided to go a different direction. With my future goals in mind of mastering in Marriage and Family Therapy, I chose a book which would be applicable to a core issue I am certain all couples face and some incur challenges in, intimacy. This book was noted as a self-improvement selection, which of course would do me no harm considering I am currently in a long-term relationship and approaching, slowly, but nonetheless, my ideal age of marriage. Another reason I choose this book, was at the time, subconscious. My mother has always been big into self-improvement books, in fact, she has a small library of them at home, one of which is The Dance of Anger, a book written by the same author regarding issues within relationships as well. I have always been curious as to why she indulged herself in such readings and admittedly consider myself a skeptic of self-help books, therefore, I decided to give it a try and formulate an opinion based on my own experien
ce. Little did I know The Dance of Intimacy would have me yearning for more. On the other hand, this book is beneficial for counselors to read for personal development. Counselors are not free from obstacles simply because they are qualified to help others with similar issues, and a successful counselor would be sure to manage their personal crises prior to helping others to ensure detrimental self-disclosure. It is natural for people to fall into a patterned way of dealing with problems, especially due to the role we played in our “first family” or family of origin. Lerner’s book helps develop and identify one’s ability to notice a situation in which typical reactivity would be high and the necessary coping skills to tackle the situation in a more effective manner. The capacity to change one’s predictable steps in a dilemma allows for a chain reaction of transformation. Some of the main issues covered in the book were change, differences, over-functioning, under-functioning and the relation between them, reactivity, and mothers. Change, the most significant in my opinion, discussed the idea of polarization and becoming “stuck” in a routine role-play type communication style. The need for change in certain situations is undeniable, and these situations are usually those in which ones ideal outcome is not achieved. Change is the most difficult action a person can perform, the psychopathology of the average supports such a claim. Reactivity and change go hand in hand. Reactivity is the behaviors one exhibits in these high stress conditions, and to change is to alter ones reactivity. The Dance of Intimacy is a source that I feel is valuable in my personal, everyday life. Within my existence I have and will come in contact with many different types of relationships, from being a daughter, to sister, to girlfriend and friend, I play a role in many dyadic relations, all of which have a significant impact on my physical health (mental, emotional and otherwise).
Some topics in this essay:
Dance Intimacy,
Harriet Lerner,
Family Therapy,
Dance Anger,
Reviving Ophelia,
dance intimacy,
reading book,
Harriet Lerner’s,
Synopsis Content,
harriet lerner,
read book,
marriage family,
lerner’s book,
“homework task”,
self-improvement selection,
overfunctioning underfunctioning,
“hot issue”,
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Approximate Word count = 1505
Approximate Pages = 6 (250 words per page double spaced)
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