So it was official. I was not in high school anymore. I walked down the halls of my new school. My school. It sounded funny at the time. Although, that’s how I viewed it. The receipts for tuition and books for my classes held tightly in one hand and the “baggage” I had just picked up from the school’s bookstore seized securely in the other helped further the notion that it was indeed my school, that I owned a piece of real estate. I know it was a bit eccentric, but after signing about five student loan applications and in essence signing my life and credit away for the time being, I felt that I was entitled to something. A few pieces of paper and several hardback books were just not going to cut it.
The thoughts of my new and questionable journey in life were quite stimulating. I felt good about actually following through with what I had set out to do. I was now in college. Premature feelings of accomplishment made my spirit dance on the inside. Being the youngest of four children, I was only the second of the bunch to actually
“see the light” and walk through the doors of a higher education facility. That was a triumph within itself. Enrolling in college was a big step for me. My o
Pondering that, I went home and readied everything for my up and coming classes. I know that I might have been making the whole college life setting seem more then what it really was. Though to me it really was something of which to think highly. After all, I was in college.
That alone was not enough. I still felt like I was a failure. Those feelings of guilt and shame fueled my desire to start college even more. After leaving high school I kept thinking about what I was going to do. Where I was going to go, and what future, if any, did I have? I used those thoughts to my advantage. Looking at my new student ID card and my new class schedule helped me gain some much needed confidence. This allowed me to answer those questions that I had been struggling to answer. Well, not actually answer completely, but it did permit me to see a realistic outcome and make note of the potential that was there.
Not finishing high school was something that I will regret for the rest of my life. Dropping out of school in the tenth grade really put a damper on things and, in actuality, clouded the vision I had of my future. However, knowing that I could graduate from college with a degree
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