Myself

It was early morning, right after sunrise. I was walking down an old, country road, trying to find my grandmother’s new house. The sounds of the birds chirping and singing filled the morning air. It was like music to my ears. The sun was not too bright, yet bright enough to leave dew on the grass. I felt the bumpiness and jagged edges of rocks with each step I took. There was also a faint smell of cow manure, which was horrendous to my sense of smell, in the fields to my left and to my right. The aftertaste of my toothpaste was still fresh in my mouth. I was walking down this same road for a few miles and still did not find the house I was looking for. I needed to get off my feet and rest because I had never walked this far before because I lived in the city. The encounter I would have in the next few minutes would change the views of myself and of life in general forever.
The road I was traveling had an unpaved, gravel type surface. The countless little chunks of rocks lying there made my shoes very white and extremely dusty. The road was rarely traveled by any vehicles because of the fact that there were very few houses that occupied the road. To my left, I could see large sycamore trees for as far as my eyes could s

When I approached the child, he seemed to be hesitant at first because he didn’t know who I was. When I offered him a piece of candy I had, he seemed less hesitant. I asked the boy’s name, and he responded with “Jeff”. I told him I had the same name. We talked a little bit about where he grew up and where he was from. He told me he lived in Mesquite, TX with his two parents and a younger sister. I told him I was from the same city when I was younger. He told me he was visiting his grandmother’s house for the weekend while his parents went out of town. I told him my parents used to do the same thing to me. Looking at the child made me remember being that young with no worries or cares in the world. When the child brought up that he was homesick, it brought back a lot of memories for me. I then told him that it was just a phase and that he would grow out of it when he became older. After he told me the next thing, it made me realize something about myself that I never thought of. He was talking about an event that happened about a year before. He said he was at a friend’s house, and they were all swimming. He did not know how to swim at the time, and he said he told the parents and his friend this information. He said neither the parents nor his friend were watching him when he was in the pool by himself. He said he accidentally went into the deep end and was gasping for air, but no one was around to help. He was scared for his life at this point. Luckily, he was close enough to the wall to grab on. He told me he thought he was going to drown that day. He said after that point, he liked being by himself. I then realized why I enjoyed playing by myself so much. It was because I did not think I could trust anyone else. I guess I did it subconsciously. I told him he would later make friends in school and everything would be fine. I also said there was nothing wrong with playing by himself. I said it could sometimes be more exhilarating because I controlled everything that went on in my game.

After about five more minutes with the boy, I saw a woman who looked to be a