Memories of a Catholic Girlhood

McCarthy was born in Seattle in 1912. She was the oldest of four children, and was born to Mary Preston and Roy McCarthy. Up until 1918 Mary McCarthy lived a truly indulgent and idyllic childhood. Her father’s parents were wealthy and lived in Minneapolis, while her mother’s parents were also wealthy and lived in Seattle. Her parent’s marriage was opposed from the beginning; Roy’s family were devout Catholics and her mother’s were Protestants. There was also the condition of her father’s heart, it was said to be damaged during highschool football and the doctor said he could die at any moment. Nevertheless, the two were very much in love and despite all opposition they were married.

It was clear that this authoritative parenting had the biggest affect on her person, she excelled in academics and was quite creative (Mary is of course an acclaimed author). It was still evident that her two previous parenting style experiences had left their mark. She was less socially competent in that she was constantly being disobedient or going against the grain in order to receive recognition from her peers, and she was outright mean to others. In one incident she felt left out and unrecognized so in order to get attention she decided to pull the stunt of pretending to dramatically lose and regain her faith in a weekend retreat.

In the Maccoby/ Baumrind Parenting Classification, parenting behavior is categorized along two dimensions: responsiveness and demandingness. Responsiveness is the degree to which a parent or guardian responds to a child’s needs in a warm and accepting manner (classified as high or low). Demandingness is the extent to which a parent demands or expects certain behavior from the child, demands are seen as positive when they are realistic for the child’s age (classified as high or low). In this parenting classification, four types of parenting strategies are identified.

At the age of eight McCarthy was awarded the city and state prize for one of her poems. This was enough to boost any child’s self-esteem. Her aunt Margaret sat in the audience smiling and offered kind words on the way home. Yet, upon hearing the news she was severely beaten by her uncle so that she would not become “stuck up”. McCarthy recalls other incidences where her uncle discouraged her high intellect: “One summer day...when I had been ordered to swat flies, I said, ‘they disappear so strangely’...a remark that he mimicked for years whenever he wished to humiliate me” (McCarthy 62). Though the behaviors of her guardians would seem to constitute low self-esteem in a child, there were other factors that affected McCarthy’s view of herself.

According to the Cole & Cole textbook self-esteem can be defined as a self-evaluation of one’s own worth; how positively or negatively one feels about themselves. There are two main types of self-esteem: Baseline Self-Esteem- feelings that are relatively stable over time; and Barometric Self-Esteem- feelings that shift rapidly over time, moment to moment.

According to several theories and the textbook, self-esteem is not solely based on relationships with parents but also on how adequately one performs in domains deemed important. It is also based on social comparison, the process of defining oneself in relation to one’s peers. Mary McCarthy experienced several types of relationships with those in authority over her. She must have had a strong baseline self-esteem since she maintained a reasonable view of herself despite the degrading punishments and words from her uncle Meyers. As with most adolescents her barometric self-esteem varied greatly with encouraging remarks from school officials, and harsh behaviors from fellow students.

Mary was exposed to many types of parenting and authority in her adolescent years. She was either in parochial schools, or religious boarding schools, until highschool when her grandparents permitted her to attend a public high school for her freshman year. After a year full of cheerleading, extracurricular activities and boys; she was sent to Annie Wright Seminary in Tacoma where she spent the rest of her highschool years. McCarthy’s memoirs mainly only tell of her life up to this point and her struggle to find information regarding her past. The story consists of a few lengthy chapters that vividly depict moments in her life that profoundly affected the person she became.

Some topics in this essay:
Mary McCarthy, James Marcia, Centered” Parents, Stanley Coopersmith, Aunt Margaret, Authoritarian Low, Parenting Classification, Margaret Margaret, Grandmother McCarthy, Madame Superior’s, type parenting, identity crisis, parenting style, aunt margaret, grandpa preston, parenting strategies, crisis/exploration commitment, responsiveness demandingness, socially competent, identity formation, exposed type parenting, parents wealthy lived, children exposed type, low responsiveness demandingness, father recklessly extravagant,