But not all adoptions make it; and when they do fall through, everyone loses. Divorce has been compared to death. The feelings of loss, grief, and failure can be overwhelming. How much more devastating is a broken adoption, especially to the children?

The Dark Side Of Adoption…………

Disruption is the term used when the adoption process disintegrates before the adoption is finalized. Dissolution is the term used after the adoption is finalized.

The National Adoption Information Clearinghouse reports:

. Adoption disruption and dissolution rates have remained relatively consistent over the past 15 years, ranging between 10 and 20 percent, depending on the type of adoption (Boyne, Denby, Kettenring, Wheeler, 1984; Groze, 1986; Barth and Berry, 1988).

. Infant placements have the lowest rate of disruption, at less than one percent (Barth and Berry, 1988). As for children placed out of the public child welfare system, the risk of disruption increases as the child ages (Boyne, Denby, Kettenring, Wheeler, 1984; Barth and Berry, 1988).

The family feels inadequate. They doubt their ability to love and provide a home for a child. They suffer feelings of guilt, loss, bereavement, betrayal, confusion, and even anger.

The child often feels like the disruption was their fault, when generally, their behavior problems were brought on by circumstances beyond their control, like drug and alcohol-addicted parents, abuse, neglect, and instability. The disruption can compound their feelings of insecurity, and can hinder their ability to bond with caregivers.

. Admit that nothing or no one is perfect.

Some topics in this essay:
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