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Missing My Grandmother


            The wind starts blowing stronger and produces a scary sound in the middle night. It stopped my concentration on anatomy reading. I looked around my room. It was such a weird feeling in me as usual. Lonely. All memories seems flashing in me. It has been four years since I came to America for studying to make my dream come true : to become a nurse.
             Ring. I got a phone call from my cousin. I had a bad feeling because she had never called me after middle night. Her voice became tremulous not like a tough woman I have ever known. I could predict what she was about to say since my grand mother went to the hospital two months ago. She had a lung cancer. The doctor said that she was too old to do a surgery. "She is gonna say something else, not about grandma," I told myself. I was wrong. She passed away in the hospital in Vietnam where I was so far away, where I could not see her at least one last time. The darkness became darker. The silence of night became scarier. I could hear the rustling sound of each leaf swaying in the wind. Suddenly one of those leaves was falling down from the tree and gone with the winds leaving the tree and other leaves behind it. That leaf was not a green color anymore. Its color was faded quickly with time like human hair color.
             "You have to finish your food. Do not leave anything. There are so many poor people out there do not have food to eat," my grandmother yelled at me. My grandmother was a Buddhists. She usually told me about Buddhas' stories and about what goes around comes around. I did not trust her belief about heaven and hell so every time she was about to tell the stories, I walked away and pretended that I was not listening. I could not believe that she could remember each word in the prayerbook. My mother told me that before dying, she intoned in mouth. She intoned day by day right at 5pm. I still remember her intonation. Her voice ups and downs, sometimes mixed with cough because of old age, 91 years old.


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