Avise

Study those who've recently gotten tenure. Use them as role models and learn about their teaching and research. Ponder these scenarios that Ms. Mentor finds in her files:

• Russell, who came from a culture of complaining, was used to bemoaning, belittling, and satirizing. In his first department meeting, Russell groaned and rolled his eyes during the chair's announcements. At the reception afterwards, he groused loudly about "this hick town we're stuck in." His new colleagues felt wounded and insulted.

• Nelly, paralyzed by worry about her new colleagues, threw up three times on the morning of the first faculty meeting. Once she was introduced, she stood up, smiled, and had to race from the room again.

• Jared, who exuded self-confidence, snagged the seat next to Cherie, a lovely and newly tenured associate prof. He couldn't resist smirking while a much older professor at the front of the room declaimed about outrageous salary discrepancies, unfair teaching loads, and perfidious deans. Jared leaned over and murmured kissingly to Cherie: "Who's the old goat?" She sm

Question ("Clyde"): I'm an associate professor at Mid-Level U, where enrollment's increasing and budgets are shrinking, and several of our new hires clearly think they're entitled to "something better" than our institution. Though I (and others) have done everything to help them, they can't stop carping about the university, the faculty, the students, the town, the state, the lack of single eligible dates, and no doubt they think my dog's ugly. I thought it was common knowledge that you put forth your best possible efforts/personality to get tenure or be able to move. Am I a grinning fool?

Answer: Ah, Ms. Mentor remembers well the days when "bad fit" simply meant gloves that would not acquit themselves, or perhaps a gown that adhered too tightly or too loosely.

Nervous Nelly was more promising and much luckier, for she had senior colleagues who cherished her and wanted her to succeed. They got her into a writing group, with deadlines, rules, and stern criticism; they protected her from too many committee assignments; and they shared teaching strategies and portfolios. By the time she received tenure, Nelly was beaming and self-confident. Ms. Mentor congratulates both Nelly and her colleagues.

A good mentor will also tell you about past department feuds and minefields -- so that you don't naively rave to Professor E. about the accomplishments of Professor R., her philandering ex-husband, to whom she hasn't spoken in five years.

Question ("Betty"): I am a professional, 40ish, new to academe three years ago. Right away a colleague began announcing in faculty meetings, without consulting me, that I'd volunteered to help develop his "projects." He enjoyed the surprise, ordered me around, treated me like mud. After three such incidents, I wrote a nasty e-mail message telling him never to volunteer me again. I also told him and my chair, in a private meeting, that I am not his lackey. Since then my teaching's gone well, research is fine, and he doesn't commandeer me into his projects -- though he still treats me like a lower form of being. Now it looks like he'll be our next chairman. Should I worry?

Some topics in this essay:
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