Let’s be honest. Separation from a loved one is difficult for anyone; It is especially difficult for a child. Studies show that separation from a parent, at the pre-school level (ages 2-4) can be extremely difficult to endure (CHOWDHRY). Children of this vulnerable age group are the most affected by the separation. They are also the most confused by it, mainly because they are too young to understand what is happening. Therefore the parent as the medium plays a key role in helping the child through this difficult ordeal.
Although they are young they understand that their daily lives are being altered.
Separation has many affects on children. Although each case is different, depending on the child and the situation, most preschoolers react similarly to the separation of a parent. They may not understand the situation as such, however, they feel the absence of the parent, which is the father in most cases (CHOWDHRY). The child’s behavioral changes are the child’s way of communicating to the parent that they are being affected by the separation.
Parents must try their best to overcome their own feelings of sadness or resentment, and focus solely on what the child needs. Clearly this will not be an easy task. However, the child’s best interest must come first. Parents must maintain constant reassurance of love and acceptance of the child; it is crucial for positive development of the child. It is highly recommended that the child’s daily routine be maintained, (e.g. bedtimes, story times etc.). Consistency is key during this crucial time.
Parents must talk to the child. It is important for the parents to reassure the child that the separation is not the child’s fault. Many children feel as though the separation somehow resulted because of them. Also, conversations with the child should be strictly child-focused. The goal is to insure the child that their relationship with both parents is protected. It is advisable to explore the children’s questions and to answer them with minimal details. The goal is to avoid further confusion.