The boisterous hush of the audience excites my anxiety and at the same time suppresses the nervous inferno that burns within me. The conductor tries to calm our restlessness, giving us a false sense of confidence. I glance tensely at our undersized violin section, and then quickly refocus on the conductor. As if by instinct, my mind relaxes, momentarily drifting from the music…
I did not have the best introduction to the violin. My involvement in music was not even voluntary. My parents were not very fortunate in being able to immerse themselves in music during their youth. Thus, they thought it appropriate that they could live as musicians, vicariously, through me. They planted the idea of music when I was in the third grade, but I did not express any desire to have anything to do with the school’s orchestra. In the end, they persuaded me, and I was forced to show up, violi
Becoming even semi-skilled at the violin was an arduous but profoundly rewarding undertaking. I had to employ firm determination to effectively edify myself in the technicalities of the violin. From this I got a sense of accomplishment and became more confident in my ability to take on even the most arduous task. Before acquiring this psychological reward, I was merely looking for the concrete benefits. Playing the violin as a child, I did not understand the intangible and aesthetic qualities intrinsic in music that playing the violin has given me, and that only a genuine fervor in the art could expose. Now as second violin section leader, I hope I can pass on my passion on to others. In retrospection, I realize the vastness of my musical evolution since childhood. I am continually reminded of how fortunate I am that I have not swerved from my musical journey. I can see no differe
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