One night, Abraham was bartending at the Water (wine) Pub. Jesus took the night off and there was only a limited amount of wine. Luckily the night was slow and only JuJu, the sexiest duck this side of the Euphrates, came into the bar. She was doing a Budwiner commercial the next day. All I’m going to say is that she was really drunk, and then…”Oh Yeah!” I think you know what happened next.

After the deed was done, and after the e*p*t test was taken, Abraham booked it all the way to Brittany, France. A little over nine months later, after all was supposedly forgotten, Abraham received a letter. It asked him to go to court and he of course complied. Minimum punishment for ignorance was to be rubbed in a French woman’s unnaturally hairy underarm. “Oh my God, you sick little monkey!” so says an Englishman.

So off to Calais Abraham went. He finally remembered his one-night stand with JuJu, and realized the

“Wow you are a wise duck,” said Zeus, “worthy of something great and honorable. I should reward you for such enlightenment.” A pause ensued. “But I’m not going to.” Then Zeus’ voice left. “AFLAAAAAC???”

The Chinamen with their squirrels saw the duck and immediately captured it and snapped its neck, but as they were making a run back for their ship, a flying steam pile hit one of the squirrels. It was the magic Johanson monkeys! That squirrel was now permanently dirty and contagious he began to get dirty with all the other squirrels. They were no longer susceptible to the Chinamen’s Jackie Chan mind control. The squirrels killed some Chinamen before the rest of them went all Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon on them and escaped. The monkeys managed to escape with the duck. They took him to America so that advertising agencies could make billions of dollars off of his stupid one word dialogue.

All of a sudden the crazy SARS patient workers started chasing the duck with Bruce Lee ninja sword. They kept yelling, “WHAAAA!” like they were Chow Yun Fat or something. The duck kept running east until it finally reached the Pacific Ocean. The duck decided to steal a Chinese navigator’s boat. And he did just that. He did not know where he was going, but that was okay because he figured he had life insurance.

court was a way for him to take custody of the child. When he finally arrived, he was greeted by hairy French women’s rights activists with rat tails, throwing their French hooba-joobas at him. He felt violated, for he believed any man would feel ashamed about participating in bestiality, even if it was with a duck. “I guess these French mofos are different,” he thought to himself. Everyone in Europe knew that Abraham was a Middle-Eastern P-I-M-P, so the jury, consisting of mostly men

Some topics in this essay:
Lee Lewis, Tom Hanks, Pacific Ocean, Fester Island, Civil War, Calais Abraham, Beijing China, Pub Jesus, Brittany France, Hidden Dragon, fester island, abraham son, civil war, tom hanks, father abraham, life insurance, duck decided, custody child, dirty squirrels,