#Let’s start with the king of the relationship quandary himself, Mr. John Gray. He is the author of the infamous Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus book series. This is the book that launched a thousand sequels not to mention many more copycat copies. #His own book titles cover subjects ranging from Professional Relationships at work, Diet remedies, Parenting tips, Bedroom behaviors, to Healing remedies. Of course, all are preceded with the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus theme.

#John Gray’s bread and butter is the cave analogy. It basically says that Men have a symbolic “cave” in

Page goes on to describing other ways to get your points across. She suggests making positive and reinforcement statements, along with being clear about your feelings and needs. #She feels the best way to accomplish this is by making “I” statements rather than “you” statements. This alleviates some responsibility from the other person, so there’s more room to discuss your thoughts and feelings more openly.

The next writer is Susan Page. Her work seems more of a true self-help theme. #She first highlights some problems that couples face and then she offers a step-by-step approach to solving the conflicts. Among her steps, she stresses negotiation rather than attacking. She maintains that with this approach, both sides can get a clearer understanding of the other persons’ point of view. This can significantly lower the tension between the parties involved. Another key point is to make sure you are accepting the other person as equal in order to maintain equal footing in the relationship.

#Gottman’s views are much like Susan Page’s in that he offers step-by-step actions to follow in order to resolve conflicts. His main theory is not to avoid conflict, but rather to work through it with timely actions. He basically emphasizes many of Page’s views, but puts even more pressure on the individual. He believes that each person should be fully conscious of their actions and especially their body language. This seems good in theory, but when you’re in an argument it seems somewhat difficult to maintain all the positive vibes t

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