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Satircal essay on funding for education

Ontario, Canada is a beautiful place to live. However, this wonderful province is not without it’s problems. One increasing problem in Ontario is money for education, or rather, the lack of money in education. To aid this problem, several smaller elementary schools are being closed. Some of these schools are closing because they are too small to fit the funding formula and others are closing because their board must make cutbacks in order to qualify for funding to build new schools in another area. These school closings will displace at least 25,000 children across the province. There is an easier, beneficial, financial-friendly solution that will not rob innocent children of an education. The answer is this: rent out rooms, coatrooms, lockers, laundry rooms, and any spare spaces in elementary and secondary schools to prisoners in overpopulated prisons North America. This proposal would greatly enrich Ontario’s education. Renting out rooms in elementary and secondary schools to prisoners would bring more money into education in Ontario, scare problem children, and provide criminals with a fitting punishment or reward.

Elementary and Secondary schools in Ontario would obtain more money by renting their spare rooms to over pop


Many people would benefit from the renting of space in elementary and secondary schools to overpopulated prisons: Ontario schools would have more money, pupils will be hard working angels, and prisoners will get what they deserve. An easier solution would be sitting back and doing nothing while relaxing with a cold beer in front of the t.v. Nevertheless, nothing would be done to solve Ontario’s problem or to ease the populace of prisons in North America. Children in Ontario will still be deprived of a suitable education and elementary schools full of memories and families will still be closed. Prisons around the world will become so full that there will be no choice but to let the criminals free to wreak havoc and destroy lives, homes, and eventually the world. When put in this perspective, renting space in Ontario’s elementary and secondary schools is a small price to pay to save the world from destruction and fill the Province’s children with an adequate education. Once again, Ontario will be a beautiful place to live and all it’s problems, at least the ones involving funding for education, can be forgotten. In the end, education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.

Charging $1600 a month, $200 for each inmate, would add up to approximately $19200 a year. For secondary schools, which are less threatened in terms of closing and money, profit would depend on the school and how many inmates they could jail. For example, a larger school would cost more because they would need extra security precautions whereas a smaller school is easier to maintain. Coatrooms are not available in high school, so lockers would have to be rented out. Estimating that there are over 800 lockers in the average-sized school, at least 800 inmates per school at $200 per inm

Some topics in this essay:
Elementary Secondary, Paul Bernardo, Anne Frank, Ontario Canada, Children Ontario, North America, secondary schools, elementary secondary, elementary secondary schools, elementary schools, money education, school inmates, secondary schools prisoners, $200 inmate add, kid grade, education ontario, schools prisoners, overpopulated prisons, north america, prisons north america,

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Approximate Word count = 1211
Approximate Pages = 5 (250 words per page double spaced)


  

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