When a woman does decide to leave an abusive relationship, it is difficult for her to know where to turn for help. Therefore, the woman stays because she does not feel that there is anyone to help protect her. Hot lines, shelters, counseling and support groups are options. Combinations of two or more of these services are most effective. The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the woman is trying to leave. The abuser will never stop coming after her. She must be hyper-vigilant.

In family settings, the abusive behaviors and patterns are reinforced through reiteration. Besides the physical abuse, controlling the h

ousehold money is standard in abusive relationships; women often have no idea of how to begin to collect benefits offered for assistance. Navigating the system of welfare, and other forms of social support is in itself a daunting process. The checkbook, credit cards, and any savings are most likely in his name only. Refusing to pay bills, controlling the cash for groceries and basic needs of fundamental living is typical. Denying the abuse, and constant negative remarks insure the loss of sense of self as a person in the victims’ eyes. Monopolizing the time of the abused partner is another form of control often exercised by the abuser, as is making rules that are impossible to follow. The abuser attempts to severely restrict choices in life: What clothing the victim is allowed to wear, where allowed to go, who allowed to speak with, type of perfume, and even how she wears her hair are targets for the abuser to exercise his authority. The abuser may spoil the children to keep them on his side, or buy their silence. Family members of the abuser enforce the unwritten code of honor, in which he is always right and she is always wrong. Threats of killing the abused party or threatening to commit suicide are common claims. The abuser often will use religion to encourage staying by raising the issue of the stigma connected with a bro

Some topics in this essay:
, domestic violence, community family, abusive relationship, trying leave, court system, violent behavior,