Most people who commit suicide try it again, and Conrad has to live everyday with the pressure of not attempting to kill himself again. Conrad has courage because he is able to live with the pain and the guilt of feeling he killed his perfect brother, Buck. Conrad felt like Buck was the favorite son and he did not feel loved by his mother, and at times hated; this made Conrad angry with his mother. Beth never visited Conrad while he was in the hospital and even after she was unable to forgive him for hurting her. Conrad att

empted suicide in her pure, white bathroom to hurt her, to make her feel the pain that he endured. Conrad ruined his mother’s attempt to portray a perfect life and house by staining her bathroom with his blood. Conrad and his mother do not have a connection with one another and are unable to communicate with each other; the extent of their conversions are about Conrad cleaning his room. Beth has no role in Conrad’s life and she is far from being a mother figure. She has little interest in Connie’s therapy or his feelings unlike Calvin who is always intensively listening to Conrad and asking him how he feels. Beth cannot open up to Conrad and love him the way she should during his time of need and support of his family, because she is still upset over Buck’s death and her heart is not big enough to let Conrad in.

Conrad is first hesitant to go and get help to control his emotions to prevent him from trying to killing himself again. Conrad visits Dr. Berger and although Conrad is reluctant to talk to the doctor as time progresses and he realizes what he wants in life is control, Conrad starts to open up. Conrad wants to do what he pleases and to have power over his emotions and life; he does not want to be a pressure on his teachers and his parents and by doing so he has to prove that he is fine and can go on living life normally, to do so he needs control. His dad especially and several teachers are always making sure that he is stable and does n

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