Divorce- Don’t destroy the children too.

It is a sad fact that many marriages today end up in the divorce courts. The reasons for these breakdowns are many. It is often painful, traumatic and the effects may be long lasting. This is never truer than in the tragedy of children caught up in the battles of their parents. For them the world has come crashing down. Their lives will never be the same again.

There are perhaps more than 15 million children in the US who have directly witnessed the breakdown of their parent’s marriages. Research indicates that these children will all suffer some form of damage. Some of that damage may be repairable. For many children however, the trauma of divorce will have an unfavorable affect on the rest of their lives. With care, love, support and attention, parents, no matter what their differences, can help their children adjust to this new world. The tragedy for many children is that some parents are either unwilling or unable to do so.

Imagine for a moment how a young child perceives the world. He or she witnesses it first hand through the actions of the parent. We were taught to stand and walk, to love and learn through our parents. With their help we grew to become the people we are

Divorce is never easy. However it is much harder on those children who are left to suffer feelings of bewilderment, guilt and fear. The one thing that we can do for these children is to give them reassurance, love and attention. Perhaps then they will be able to escape lives that are fraught with isolation and mistrust. Perhaps we can help prevent them being the divorce statistics of the future. Even if that is the most we can do, surely that is the least they deserve.

Statistically it has been shown that as many as 40% of children from divorced families suffer from the after effects of that trauma. It means that 60% of these children do manage to lead positive and happy lives. It may mean that the divorce, for whatever reason has taken unbearable pressure off the family. More likely though, it points to the fact that many parents can and do help their children cope with the fallout of their marriage break up.

We look to our parents to make sense of this world. We seek some form of reassurance that there is safety and sanctuary, love and protection. Imagine how it must feel to have the very pillars of your life crumbling down around you. Divorce shatters the only world that a child has. Is it any wonder then that divorce is a tragic and earth shattering experience for a child?

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