“The Wallflower” and Abraham Maslow

Upon reviewing Ellen’s case, in reference to the Hierarchy of Needs, it is clear from her comments regarding herself and her relationship with others that she is unable to attain the needs of higher levels, such as self-respect and esteem, love and a sense of belonging. She sees herself as a wallflower, “overweight and with no personality” (Farley, 2003, p. 69). She is not able to meet these needs because she has not satisfied the first level of physiological needs (Fadiman, 2002). Ellen seems to feel a lack of nourishment on some level. This manifests in her recurring behavior of binge eating (Farley, 2003). Ellen’s choice

Ellen exhibits many low level grumbles: She perceives people as always putting her down; Her girlfriends have all betrayed her by abandoning her for marriage; Her work as a teacher cannot sustain her (Farley, 2003).

She functions from deficiency cognition (Fadiman, 2002): She sees all men as potential relationships and therefore cannot relax and be herself; She is distrustful of other women, believing they will all betray her for other men; She sees herself as worthless.

The working world seems scary to Ellen. She is not feeling prepared to enter it. Ellen describes her mother as “anxious all the time” (Farley, 2003, p. 70). It is possible that she grew up in a home that taught her that the world is not safe. Her actions and behaviors would certainly suggest that her basic needs for safety and stability were not met as a child.

Ellen has impoverished her life by refusing to treat herself or any part of her life with deep concern. The desacralization of her body, mind and relationships has left her filled with negative emotions. These negative emotions drain her energy and inhibit effective functioning (Fadiman, 2002). Ellen is depressed. Ellen’s inner core, her values, tastes, and goals all function from deficit modes.

Her self-actualization is limited by several factors: (1) The negative influences from her past experiences resulting in unproductive habits, such as binge eating and dropping classes at school; (2) Social influences and group pressures such as fitting in, or being pretty and thin; (3) Inner defenses that keep us out of touch with the self, such as denial about her artistic talents, repressed pain, and projection of seeing others as rejecting her (Fadiman, 2002).

Hal has come to a therapist to seek help because of a dread of dying. While working with the therapist it soon becomes apparent that he is having difficulty with love relations. It is likely that upon further exploration the therapist would uncover that Hal is struggling with all four main paradoxes, or givens of existence: (1) isolation versus connection; (2) Finding meaning in his life and feeling his life is meaningless; (3) Living versus dying; (4) Freedom to make choices and responsibility for the consequences (Farley, 2002).

The first given, isolation and connection is apparent in Hal’s life since birth. He openly shares how his mother did not want children and how his parents never had time for him. He was sent away to boarding school as well. Hal was raised in an environment where he often felt isolated. However, like all children, he longed to connect with his parents. Even as an adult in love relations, Hal chooses to date many women, and yet he is unable to form intimate bonds and sustain the relationships and he retreats into isolation. He is lonely and isolated, even when he is with a woman.

Some topics in this essay:
Abraham Maslow, Psychosynthesis Ellen, Existentialism Hal, Maslow Assagioli, fadiman 2002, Ellen Hal’s, farley 2003, farley 2002, , 2002 ellen, Alfred Adler’s, binge eating, farley 2002 ellen, frick 1991, Hierarchy Assagioli’s, fadiman 2002 ellen, meaning life, fadiman 2002 frick, farley 2003 69, ellen’s personality, inner nature, ellen seeking, 2002 frick 1991,