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Blondes (Classification Essay)

There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes and decided to dye her hair brown. Afterwards she went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. She asked the shepherd, "If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?" He replied "Sure!" Out of the blue, she blurts out, "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick out a sheep. She looks and searches and finally picks out the cutest one. The shepherd looked at her and replied, "If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back!" Life is full of blondes and blonde moments; fortunately the American people love blondes. Blondes don’t have it easy though; between the dumb jokes and the stereotypes, blondes struggle to prove that they are more than bimbos with great boobs. Unfortunately, a majority of blondes do fit into one of three stereotypes; the dumb blonde, the blonde bombshell, or the increasingly famous bleach blonde.

The dumb blonde is the most familiar of all blondes. One can always identify her by her baffled stare that emerges often during conversation. While engaged in a conversation with a dumb blonde, the news story of a double leg amputee who ran a m


The blonde bombshell is the least common of all blondes. We have all seen her before, even though few are still in existence. They have an effect on men that is mind-boggling. When the opposite-sex sees her entering the room, their heart skips a beat and their eyes begin to wander. She has thick, shinny, vibrant hair that compliments her taupe face, her eyes are a deep sapphire blue and her moist red lips compress together to shape the most breathtaking smile a man has seen. She walks with a swing in her hips, and wiggle in the rear. Meanwhile, her breasts bounce with prestige, while her sheer existence fills the room’s air with her sweet aroma. She stands five foot, seven inches tall with a body one would die for. She weighs in at one hundred twenty-three pounds saturated wet, and looks first-class at every occasion. A large majority of blonde bombshells are escorted by elderly men who have been blessed with large fortune and a short life span. Every man wishes to posses a blonde bombshell, which leads to the every famous bleach blonde.

Finally, last but not least is the smart blonde. Unfortunately, the smart blonde has not yet been found. If one ever encounters the smart blonde they should capture her, for she is

Some topics in this essay:
, blonde bombshell, dumb blonde, bleach blonde, bleach blondes, smart blonde, blonde blonde bombshell, famous bleach blonde, dumb blonde blonde, blondes blonde, blonde blonde, blonde moments, famous bleach,

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Approximate Word count = 834
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)


  

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