I have always been forced to live my life in my own personal hell. I am the cause for the problems of the world. I have always had the feeling of complete sadness hanging out my head. The feeling of a tear falling, but that tear cannot be released because if it is, I will feel better. I prevent myself from being ha

There have been people in my life who ­I have loved so much and been crushed at the fact that the hatred they hold for me is forever in stone. I have a sister, who I envy and adore, whom I will love for eternity, but she will never love me back. I have ruined her life by not meeting up to her standards as the perfect brother. I have a dream that one day she will return and say those three words that I have always wished to hear from her. The three words that have a slim chance of giving me life. I breathe her, I see her when my eyes are not open, and she is always in my thoughts. She holds the power to make me happy. I have never believed that one person could hold so much power to another person’s life. In this instance, she holds the power to my happiness. Although she is not the root of all my problems I feel that she has contributed to a lot of my sadness. These are words I cannot say to her because I fear if they are said she will hate !

Death is the most permanent mistake a person can ever endure. I am neither in a hell or a heaven but rather I am trapped inside of my own personal purgatory of sorts. I am forced to sit in a mental state where I do not exist in a sense that I do not take up space but I am left as air to watch the surroundings and regret not being able to place my feet on the ground. My death caused more pain than I could have ever imagined. My death was to end the ­­silence; it was supposed to solve all of my problems. How could I have been so blind that life would not leave such a door open? I would have given anything to have someone stop me that day. I am forced to see how much of an impact I had on life itself. My parents never saw their only son graduate high school. They never experienced the pride that they waited and stood by me for so long for. My sisters lost their little brother without ever getting to say goodbye. My sister’s children will have never met their uncle. I sit here an!

Accepting yourself is a hard thing to do. It took me many years to accept who I was, the problems I had, and learn how to overcome the obstacles I was given in life. I made many mistakes, of all these mistakes, I only regret one. One that you will learn in the end of my life story. One mistake that ruined my life, and so many others. That is the only thing I will ever regret in my life. Anything else that occurred, happened for a reason and because of those hard times in my life I was a better person.

There was one time in my life when I believed that I was truly happy. I had met the most wonderful person in the whole world. She was smart, funny, and perfect in my eyes. She became my best friend for the next 2 and a half years. I will never forget all the attempts she made to make me feel better about myself. She never gave up on me. I loved her so much and she was the one person that I was sure loved me back. I knew that I could talk to her about anything at anytime, and she could always put a smile on my face. There is always that one special person in life who can make an impact on who you are, and what you do. Never forget that one special person because they will never forget you. Although she tried, I still was never happy. She definitely made my life a lot easier in a sense. Life is never easy, but I feel like she made my thoughts lighter. When I was with her, or talking to her there was just that much less anxiety

Some topics in this essay:
Silence Sadness, sit wonder, depression life, live life, holds power, , depression consumed, contributed sadness, mistake regret, own personal, people truly, overcome depression,