The Harem a woman’s perspective

An excellent way of approaching the concept of a harem with an open mind is to read the memoirs and first hand accounts of women’s lives who have insight into the mysterious harem. First of all the very meaning of the harem is borrowed from the Arabic term haram which means that which is unlawful. In fa

Fatima’s story of her childhood life in the harem gives us an impression of a happy yet confused little girl, seeing many different viewpoints of life, other stories show us the true happiness that women can attain while living in a harem. The story of two Turkish women living in a harem in the early 1900s is truly insightful for our understanding of how Middle Eastern women reason with the institution of polygamy and the harem that we Westerners find so restricting. In, Haremlik, by Demetra Vaka, the story of two Turkish women is told with an eloquence that can only be told by the two women themselves. While they are co-wives married to the same man, their love for each other is abundant and comparable to a sister’s love for another sister. Their story is hard to understand because of the deepness and the complexity of their situation. The first wife Nassarah married Hilmi Pasha and was deeply in love with him, but could not bear him a son. For the sake of the love of her husband she took it upon herself to find him another wife in order to bear him a son and fulfill her husband and grant him the ultimate happiness. Her friend Tsakran agreed, they were happily married, and she bore him 2 sons. Their happiness and sheer happiness lay in Nassarah’s comment to her American friend who visited them and inquired about how they would feel about leaving their harem to venture to change the world: “Why little blossom! Allah meant women to be beautiful and good; to be true wives, and real mothers, isn’t that enough for a mere woman?” (Vaka, 28) The sincerity in their answer shows us that such an old institution as the harem is deeply embedded within the culture and though there may be dreams of escaping such a life, there are many women who instead see the beauty in life in any situation.

In order to even attempt to understand how a woman in such an institution might feel about her life, one has to understand how her mind works, share her experiences, and her world view. Djmlah yet another Turkish women who lived her life in a harem explains to her American friend how she lives happily being the fourth wife of a successful man. She disproves the concept of “sharing” a husband, by claiming that you never share a husband. “What a man gives to one woman he never gives to another. What he is to his first wife he never is to his second or third.” (Vaka 76) She continues by claiming that men by nature are polygamous and need more companionship in their lives. Such an idea may shock all of our senses, but taken into context with the laws that state that a man must take care of all of his wives, and the fairness of the treatment of all the wives, it is perhaps more easily understood.

Fatima Mernissi writes a beautiful account of her childhood living in a harem. Her book Dreams of Trespass, tells an intriguing story of a confused little girl growing up in a harem in Fez, Morocco. The naivety of her story gives us wonderful insight not only into her life but the lives of other family members, specifically her male cousin Samir, and the other women who shared the confines of the harem. As Westerners we can relate to

Some topics in this essay:
Middle East, Mecca Median, Hilmi Pasha, Aunt Habiba, Fez Morocco, Images Westerners, Djmlah Turkish, Samir Fatima, Radia Chama’s, Fez Fatima, living harem, life harem, domestic harem, institution harem, imperial harem, turkish women, concept harem, domestic harem exists, confused little, dreams trespass, fatima’s story childhood, little girl, confused little girl, story turkish women, women fatima’s harem,