Judaism-Sitting Shiva

Judaism considers two basic principles when the laws of death and mourning apply (Kolatch 49). The first consideration is the principle of kevod hamet, which instructs people to treat the deceased with reverence and respect (Kolatch 49). A second principle places concern on the welfare of the living. This principle is called kevod hechai (Kolatch 49). Included in the Jewish laws of burial is a look of disfavor upon embalming and cremation (Kolatch 49). To Jews, blood is regarded as part of the body and should not be removed (Kolatch 52). Cremation is not allow

It is considered poor taste for visitors to take flowers, candy, or gifts to the Shiva (Greenberg 295). A visitor may bring a gift of prepared food for the mourners to relieve the stress of cooking and cleaning (Lanter 340). It has become customary to contribute to a charity in the name of the deceased instead of bringing elaborate gifts (Lanter 340). A simple act such as going to the supermarket or doing the laundry can be much more helpful than expensive gifts (Lanter 340).

As with most Jewish customs, sitting Shiva has its roots in the Hebrew Scriptures. Establishing the first seven days as the most intense stage of mourning is based on an interpretation of a verse in Amos (8:10):

And I will turn your feasts [which usually lasted seven days] into mourning, and all your songs into lamentations; and I will bring sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and I will make it as the mourning for an only son; and the end thereof is a bitter day. (Kolatch 63)

Jews follow very specific religious laws during shiva. “A mourner may not leave the house, perform manual labor, conduct business, cohabit, or perform any act of personal adornment,” explains Helen Latner in The Book of Modern Jewish Etiquette (333). Male mourners are required to recite Kaddish, the mourners prayer, each day (Latner 333). Kaddish can only be said when a minyan, or quorum of ten, is present (Latner 333). Therefore the mourner may attend synagogue if there is no minyan to pray with in the house (Latner 333). Alfred J. Kolatch, in his book, The Jewish Book of Why explains the significance of the Kaddish as, “an expression of the mourner’s praise for God and acceptance of His will, even while the mourner finds himself in great pain, unable to rationalize his [or her] tragedy.”(50)

In the house of the mourners, the mirrors are either covered or are “smoked” with soap (Greenberg 293). There are many proposed reasons for this practice. The most prominent idea is that during a period of mourning, one should not be concerned with how he or she looks (Kolatch 64). Another proposal suggests a primitive fear that since one’s reflection is a projection of the soul, the recently deceased may be able to snatch it up (Robinson, 190). Some mourners have covered mirrors because prayer services are held in the home during Shiva, and it is against Jewish law to pray in front of a mirror (Kolatch 64).

Once the family has had time together for mourning, usually one to three days, it is customary for visitors to pay condolence calls (Robinson 190). The commu

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