To all the parents out there be afraid be very afraid because as soon as that clock strikes 12:00 bye bye loveable child hello hormone induced stropoholic teen. You see, this is the scary bit guys the minute that child becomes 13 you’ll know about it, Harry Enfield got it spot on with ‘Kevin’. Now I’m sorry to say no matter how well you raised your, child they always know best, life and you are their mortal enemy and all chocolate companies for some reason have just added a new spot making ingredient or so they think. Nevertheless, like a wise person once said ‘ if you can keep your head whilst all the spots around you are losing theirs one day my friends you will reclaim your child’ … … with a few alterations of course.

Right first thing’s first for the first couple of months your son will sound like a hamster’s wheel that hasn’t seen a can of WD-40 for a decade, however as time goes on he’ll sound remarkably like Barry White and find out why girls really are put on this earth! (Exactly, to tag

I wasn’t joking about that last bit – it’s the truth!

I am a typical teenage boy, I go mental if my hair is touched, I’m after the girls and I play sport for a local club. This time period is where boys, scarily, start to spend more time in the bathroom tarting themselves up than girls, which is some mean feat I can tell you. After wasting all the hot water in the shower and pouring half a tub of Brylcream in his hair, it’s time to dress up, look eighteen and go for a drink at a bar, far enough away that nobody knows how old he really is, but at the same time not too far that the cab fare costs more than the amount spent on his nights drinks! And yes, after all this trouble it’s time to confess that he likes a certain girl, who, you just know all his mates are going to think is ugly, and all the other girls are going to think he is really sweet for admitting it, which doesn’t help, when, after all this she turns him down in front of everyone, and of course, his so called mates won’t let him forget for the rest of the night, or !

team with you to make their life a living hell!). But don’t worry the good times do outweigh the bad … … well sometimes.

Some topics in this essay:
Barry White, Harry Enfield, Male Ok, teenage boy, … …,