We take divorce so much for granted today that it is hard not to find someone who has been divorced or who has married someone who has been divorced or who has parents or relatives who have divorced. And we brush it off and say, “It doesn’t matter.” But it does matter. Developmentalists affirm that children need to have both a mother and a father who will protect them, care for them, teach them, and guide their feet through darkness into a secure place. Spouses divorce each other, but they do not divorce their children. My parents are separating from each other, but they still need to serve their parental function. So the question arises: Is it more beneficial for a family to live in a home with an excessive amount of destructive arguing or is it healthier for spouses to divorce, leaving the children to develop in a single-parent home?

tant things in my life and I need you to know that. Tell me you know that…”

Individual issues and contextual forces present crucial barriers to such a simplistic remedy. My mother’s depression stems from her lack of ability to independently support the financial needs of her children and my father is stubbornly bitter towards my mother’s disposal of him. All four of us have our own issues and we cannot operate as the interdependent family that Minuchin portrays (Minuchin 291). As of now, the dynamics of my family are far from normal, but I have yet to believe that they can be stabilized. It takes more than divorce-counseling, more than individual therapy, more than family therapy, and more than a devoted effort by each member of the family to reform the relationships within my family. It is a collaboration of these techniques that will allow my family to cooperate as a unit and as a system. Yet, I understand that this solution is not as important to the rest of my family as it is to me; thus, I will discontinue my attempts to delve into such an impractical delusion. My mother, sister and father each have their own schedules and their own problems and they see such a resolution as a lost cause…an idealized fantasy.

The heart-ache my sister and I have experienced during the past six months is irreparable. We both have an enormous amount of empathy for my father and his recent loneliness, yet we greatly sympathize with our mother who has perpetually lacked a loving partner. With individual issues such as depression and with the non-existent communication between my mother and father, individual and family therapy seems essential in our case. Although my mother, sister, and I, all diagnosed with clinical depression, are currently seeking private therapeutic help, I know that this will not fully prevent my negative developmental issues. Thus, I propose a distinct type of divorce mediation treatment or family systems therapy. This nature of remedy may prevent my ill-fated emotional development and attachment quality formation and will help my parents work out a positive divorce strategy.

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