But now all the idealistic fantasies of my youth are gone and reality has reared its ugly head. I am twenty- eight years old, a single mother with three children. I work two jobs to maintain my little family, and yet I am still struggling to make ends meet.

At high school I had been a good student. Never straight A’s mind you, but I was doing well. I was going to be a lawyer, really make something of myself. I was going to travel before university, and settle down with my wonderful boyfriend. Then one moments stupidity and my entire world unalterably changed. I fell pregnant. I felt so ashamed, I didn’t tell a soul. I dropped out of school halfway through my senior year and broke it off with my boyfriend.

And there went my dreams. After that

Surprising even myself I politely decline his invitation for coffee, pleading upon my responsibility to my children. As I watch him depart in the flickering light, I find myself feeling pity. And for once it is not directed towards myself. Upon seeing this man I had built to tower in my mind I find my illusions of his perfection shattered. He has done as much damage to his life as I to mine, but he is alone. I have three beautiful children, who though they have their faults are mine.

Frozen, I advert my eyes wishing fervently for an escape. My heart is pounding and I am awash in a sea of memories.

The idea for the story “In the Park” came from Gwen Harwood’s poem of the same name. Harwood’s poem deals with the issue of single parenting and looks at a woman whose life is going through the motions without ever feeling fulfilled. The poem seems to be an attempt to capture the truth about what motherhood with small children does to a woman for a time, a truth that is not often acknowledged. However as the poem is written from the point of view of an observer it is very detached and almost sounds like the commentary of a play, not allowing the reader to get the full picture.

However in the alternative narrative I have tried to show that when we are able to gather the courage to face our fantasies, the real life version is not always what it had seemed in our minds.

Some topics in this essay:
Park Isn’t, Gwen Harwood’s, Writers Journal, beautiful children, life stayed, fantasies youth, comes realise, dreams ambitions, narrative tried, television advertisement, lost dreams, perfect features, ashamed ashamed,