Despite all the success Kurt was depressed, he had been suffering from a mysterious stomach ailment for five years. The same stomach ailment his mother suffered in her early twenty’s. Doctors could not determine what the cause was but they wrote it down as stress. He turned to heroin as his only comfort at that point, even though he scolded others like his friend Jessie Reed from doing cocaine in the past. Kurt stated “ I might as well become a junkie, because I felt like a junkie everyday”. 150 people arrived at Nirvana’s Nevermind record release party, while Kurt hid in a phone booth for the Majority of the time. Cobain had a hate/love relationship with the media, he claimed there wasn't one journalist he could think of that deserved to own a pen, though meanwhile he was a rock journalist himself. Kurt wanted to start his own music magazine. He didn’t feel fulfilled with the fans of Nirvana because they weren’t Punk Rockers, just mainstream Americans. Macho guys would be thrusting their fists at “Teen Spirit,” which made Kurt insecure about his own physic. He claimed he was rodent like and underdeveloped, drawing cartoons exploiting these macho men, and asked his friend to get him steroids. Kurt Cobain was surprisingly also a feminist, he wrote it was impossible to deprogram the ancestrally established male oppressor and claimed the bands crusade was to teach men not to rape. Making it obvious why he fell for strong independent woman like Courtney Love, claiming he had met his soul mate. They shared a fiery personality and she provided the confrontational aspect that Kurt lacked. They married on the beach of Hawaii in Feb of 1992.

urt turned fifteen he had learned to play the guitar very well, and was in the process of forming a band. He lashed out with irrational behavior to get attention. He wanted to be Evil Kienevil he would tape metal and fire crackers to his chest and jump off buildings. He would drive around with friends throwing quarter sticks of dynamite all over the countryside of Oregon, dropping one in the van they were in, that luckily d

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