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Managers


             Managers. Defined in the New Merriam-Webster's Dictionary as: a person whose
             work or profession is management c (1) : a person who directs a team or athlete. A few weeks
             ago, I wrote a letter to Merriam-Webster suggesting that an alternate definition be included,
             Manager (n) 1. A tyrranical dictator or monarchy that rules over a business with an iron fist,
             delegating laborious work to those in their employ. Having worked for several different
             management teams, I've come to a few conclusions as to their humanity (or lack thereof), their
             mysterious fulgurations of temper and reason, and how they manage to pull off remaining at their
             posts (somewhat) at the head of their businesses despite anarchy and deceit.
             Allow me to begin with one of my favorites, a stumpy, balding, snow-man shaped
             fellow by the name of Greg. I worked at the time as an Inventory Auditor, which for all the
             interest inspired by the title, I assure you that interest was something this job lacked in quantity.
             Essentially, you travel from grocer to grocer in the wee hours of the morning with a calculator
             and a pen counting absolutely every single commodity in a stores the size of one to several
             football fields. Greg was a man who with every authority of an overlord would patrol the aisles
             with a clipboard, stopping you to examine your records. Heaven forbid you have an incorrect
             entry, as you would be sentenced to recount the last few thousand products (a full aisle) during
             days that seemed to stretch for an eternity. Greg seemed to enjoy this, you could see the glee
             dancing in his eyes as he mouthed the words that both punish, and ensure accuracy for the
             company. During my servitude there, I found that this particular manager has had quite a
             history. He had worked for the Company for almost 30 years, and over time has seemed to
             be, well, eroded. If you could compare Greg with o


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