As the divorce rate rises to roughly 50%, one can imagine all the problems, mental, emotional, and financial, that go along with it. One of the main problems, that many people overlook, is what happens to the children who are involved in this process. According to psychologists, “divorce is only slightly less traumatic for children than the death of a parent” (Lansky 29).

Many people have tried to figure out just how it is that children either cope or do not with divorce. Many psychologists and authors have tried to tackle the question but only a few have succeeded. Few have actually figured out what it is that children go through, and the short and long-term effects divorce has on them.

Deborah Tannen’s essay “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” is a good place to turn to find the main reason for divorce, which she says is lack of communication. Tannen discusses how many men are, in fact, very chatty people outside of the home, but once they get to their home, they quickly become quiet and not talkative. Tannen has conducted various interviews to help write her papers and books, and she says that “most of the women she interviewed-but only a few men-gav

talking. Girls are raised to express their feelings while boys are raised to believe that if they cry or show some emotion they are weak. These, among other things, contribute to the problems that are found in relationships today.

Kids see you as a package, an amalgam they don’t even realize can be separated. . . . In fact, kids are often mildly shocked to learn that Mom and Dad have different interests, different likes and dislikes. So when the package starts to come apart, the very foundation of a child’s emotional world threatens to shatter with it. (94-95)

We spend a great deal of time when children are small helping them learn how to get along with others. A child has a fight . . . and we encourage her to apologize and make up. . . . The idea that their parents can have the same kind of disagreement that does not lead to a settlement is puzzling and troubling to children. (99)

Before looking into the likely affects divorce has on a child, one must first understand a few basic things about divorce. Susan Arnsberg Diamond wrote, Helping Children of Divorce: A Handbook for Parents and Teachers, which contains ample amounts of statistics and facts concerning divorce and children. In 1975, the divorce rate in the United States rose to over one million with more than 1.5 million children under eighteen experiencing it every year (3).

Divorce Magazine is a magazine for the divorced that gives them bits of advice, insights on other divorces’, and is there to help people who have questions they need answered. M. Gary Neuman and Patricia Romanowski recently printed an article in this magazine, “Building A Happier Future” which gives divorced parents some advice on

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