Blood for Oil!: a satirical essay
Protestors are clamoring “No Blood for Oil.” President Bush is pushing for war with Iraq, apparently because of the dangers of nuclear weapons. But we all know his high minded goals are just a façade to gain the control of the lucrative oil reserves. We have already established the cost of war -billions of dollars for equipment, and thousands of innocent men and women will be sent halfway around the world to fight a war for purely greedy economic reasons. Now, I am just as reluctant about shedding American blood as the next guy, but exactly how much oil and how much blood are we talking about? I mean if its 30 gallons of American blood for a gallon of oil, what sane man would agree to terms like that? However, if it’s more like 50 gallons of oil for every pint of American blood, then I’d say, lets get down to business. In the first Gulf War, around 300 Americans lost their lives. Figuring the average American loses about 8 pints of blood per death, it amounted to one pin
However, we have to consider how to send the blood over. I propose we send a piece of brain along with the 8 pints of blood for each person, to ensure Saddam that we are indeed giving him one American life for his oil, and not merely taking a bit of blood from everyone. Of course we have to take into account that Saddam will not agree to just any terms and neither will Bush. Therefore each party presents a list of terms if their party should win. Then the generals from each side proceeds to participate in a game of Risk. As the game involves tactics and strategies, whichever nation wins the battle on the board wins the war, and the other party will be forced to accept the terms the first party presented. We also have to take into account, exactly what kind of blood are we talking about? I mean we obviously don’t want to waste any “O” type blood, after all, it is the universal donor and we need it for medical reasons. However, if it is the useless “AB” type blood, it
Some topics in this essay:
Regular Unleaded,
President Bush,
Gulf War,
american blood,
,
type blood,
8 pints blood,
below 119 gallon,
blood talking mean,
“ab” type blood,
pint american blood,
gallons oil,
push price,
agree terms,
“ab” type,
blood talking,
talking mean,
pints blood,
don’t real,
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Approximate Word count = 663
Approximate Pages = 3 (250 words per page double spaced)
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