Listening skills are a very important part of your communication skills. It is a true effort that is very well worth it when you work to understand the other person’s perspective. Our interpretation of what things mean is relative to the person. You want to make sure you really understand what the other person is saying. It may be helpful to even repeat what your partner has said to you in your own words (Johnson, 1996). Sometimes people say things but they are actually not vocalizing what they are thinking or feeling. For example, your partner may say, ”I wish you still brought me flowers.” You may want to ask, “What is it that you miss about getting flowers?” Maybe you both had decided to save money to buy a house. But she may be feeling that not receiving flowers is a sign that you no longer care like you used to. You could explain that you were just trying to save money so that you both could reach your goal (Johnson, 1996).

For a good percentage of couples, they come to a stage referred to as the disillusionment stage. This can happen at different times for different couples. It could happen 6 months into the relationship or 5 years after, depending upon how long the romantic stage lasted (Johnson, 1996 ). This point is where many relationships end. This is when the cute little things the other person does are now annoyances. The piles of mail lying on the counter or the way the other person eats or borrows your razor drives you insane. It is common at this time to feel ambivalent or even regret. You wonder if you have made the right choice is the person that you have chosen. What is really happening is that you are being faced with seeing the person as a person and not a fantasy figure (like the night in shining armor) with stars in your eyes (Johnson, 1996).

Certain qualities are common in successful marriages. Your spouse should be your best friend. One of the worst things you could do during this stage is to turn outside of your relationship. Just think of times when you have had a quarrel with your partner. You go to work the next day or call your mom and vent. The response you get from these people is usually supporting you. Many times, they are going to tell you what you want to hear. They do not even know the entire story. They have only heard one side.

Being highly affectionate with each other is noted as a trait found in successful marriages. “ A satisfied sex life holds a very high correlation with a satisfied marriage (Johnson, pg 8).” This is a one type of intimacy between you and your partner. There are, of course, many ways to show affection towards your partner. Touching, holding hands, cuddling, are just a few other ways of being affectionate.

Good communication skills come in handy in all aspects of your life; this is a good example of a time that good communication skills are essential. Share your feelings with your partner (Johnson, 1996). Use I statements instead of you statements. When you use you statements, it sounds critical and blaming. For example, if you were to say, “ you never do thoughtful things like you used to such as bringing me flowers.” This will put your partner on the defensive. Instead, you could say, “ I miss those times when I was su

Some topics in this essay:
Disillusionment Stage, Stages Marriage, Honeymoon Stage, johnson 1996, communication skills, holding hands, couples stage, ambitious couple, save money, romantic stage, disillusionment stage, saying hello, sometimes people,