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Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat


            Does having the ability to decide how you want to live make you happy? Can you imagine living in a place where your choices are not your own? In Haiti, women have no choice but to carry out their mother's teachings. The expectations that mothers have for their daughters are displayed in the novel "Breath, Eyes, Memory." In Haiti's culture, girls are expected to choose a husband with great value, learn the ways to keep their husband happy and be pure until they are given away to their husband. Because of traditions like choosing a husband, training to fulfill wifely duties and testing for purity, Haitians can potentially have a life changing experience.
             In Haiti girls are expected to find a worthy and stable man. The man can't be just any old man, there are requirements that he should meet: "Let me tell you a few things,"" she said. "You have to get yourself a man who will do something for you. He can't be a vagabond. I won't have it" (78). They are taught to not trust so easily and to strongly evaluate a man before getting serious. The man also should come from a family with what the mother considers a "good name ". Like many mothers Sophie's mom gave her advice like, "you will have to choose between the really old-fashioned Haitians and the new-generation Haitians. The old-fashioned ones are not exactly prize fruits. The problem with the new generation is that a lot of them have lost their sense of obligation to the family's honor"" (80). Keeping one's family honor and reputation in tact is very important. In Haitian culture one believes that a man's last name will let you know who he is, his family background, his ethnicity, the living state he's in, how wealthy he is, and even his education status. All of those things aren't really ways to choose a man, they are ways to find the right image. By following those guidelines, a girl could choose a guy that is the "perfect ideal man " for the image they are taught to find.


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