Okonkwo goes above and beyond to abstain from exposing any form of weakness. He is so consumed by this that he has instilled strength in his younger sons. Okonkwo is constantly stressing that his sons mustn't give in; they are to be masculine and resilient. Nwoye, the son of his eldest wife, often struggles to live up to his father's expectations. He enjoys being in the presence of his mother as she cooks and tells beautiful stories. Achebe expresses Okonkwo's frustration, "Nwoye, was then twelve years old but was already causing his father great anxiety for his incipient laziness" (13). The only way Okonkwo knew how to correct this behavior was by beating and yelling at him. There was no father son discussion or in depth conversation, in their household, Okonkwo's word wasn't to be debated. Okonkwo became so obsessed with his children and their individual destinies. He often wished that his daughter Ezinma was a boy. Ezinma possessed character traits that Okonkwo believed only a male should have. She is a strong, wise, and observant young woman. As much as Okonkwo admires Ezinma, his pride will not allow him to admit such a thing. .
Washington Post writer Michael Dirda expresses concern for Okonkwo is his defense stating, "In the modern world most of these traits would be judged sexist or criminal, but it's almost impossible to withhold admiration, and sympathy, for Okonkwo."(5). Love has no place in the heart of a man that has established such greatness. As if to show love, would diminish his achievements or defile his name in the village. Okonkwo has completed nearly every accomplishment that the Igbo people offer. He was named one of the greatest wrestlers in the nine villages, a wealthy farmer, a inter-tribal war veteran and often privileged to dine with elders and kings. With all this tremendous success, Okonkwo still was not satisfied, he would still harbor bitterness within his heart.