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Mirror

 

            He looked up from his book to his reflection in the window opposite, but the reflection of his face continued looking down, apparently still reading his book. He passed it off as an effect caused by an imperfection or fault in the glass, since the glass had distorted his face like a Hall of Mirrors in the past, into a variety of grotesque masks that strangely resembled a caricature, or exaggerated cartoon, of the emotion he was feeling at that moment. Sometimes his mouth would appear as if it was melting off his face drooping down to the floor like lank scarf, and at other times his eyes would look manically wild and open, as big as saucers, reflecting his agitated, paranoid state of extreme exhaustion. But this time, the distortion was quite subtle, and as he moved his head slowly up and down and side to side - he wanted to see how effective the illusion was, by breaking it and then creating it again, but at the same time not wanting to destroy it - his reflection continued looking down as if it was still reading the book. He looked around and stared at people, but because he was so surreptitious - he was afraid of offending someone and drawing attention to himself - and everyone was used to people staring at them blankly, nobody batted an eyelid or met his glance. He looked back the reflection of his own face looking down at the book, and smiled. The reflection didn't flicker. The fancy struck him that he, whoever "he" was, because he was no longer attached to his reflection, might no longer be attached to his body; that he might be able to stand up and leave the person, himself, who is the original of the reflection, is sitting in the same seat as he is sitting, and who was, until a few minutes ago, exactly the same person as him, behind, walking off with no reflection, or body. The idea was fascinating and incredibly tempting, and he sat as still as he could trying not to disturb the fantasy he had persuaded himself of, as if he was trying not to disturb a fly standing on his nose, whose small vibration gave him pleasure, by any sudden movement.


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