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How to Give Orders Like a Man

 

            Deborah Tannen, professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, explores the power of the spoken word in her essay, "How to Give Orders Like a Man." By looking at the way orders are given and received, the reader is forced to re-examine the way that American culture has taught different members of the work force to treat one another. Tannen does not just provide the reader with examples of work-oriented situations, but also how directness and indirectness are presented in the family setting. "How to Give Orders Like a Man" does not provide the reader with a conclusive answer of how to deal with their interpersonal relationships. This essay is in no way a means to try to persuade the reader to change his/her communication habits, but an essay that aims to make the reader look at other cultures and maybe learn something.
             The story begins with a school trustee's appalling reaction by the lack of directness that a university president used with her secretary. By kindly asking the secretary to type her letter and to hold all of her phone calls, the trustee felt that she was not properly throwing her weight as president. Instead of asking the secretary to perform the tasks in which the president needed, the trustee felt that she should have just given the order. Because of the trustee's reaction, Tannen challenges the notion that talking in an indirect way reveals powerlessness, lack of self-confidence, or even says anything about the character of the speaker. Tannen also lets it be known that women are no more direct than men and vice-versa. Tannen attributes one's directness or indirectness to their regional, ethnic, or class backgrounds. .
             Tannen also talks about the use of directness or indirectness in the home. The reader is familiarized with the David Bellinger and Jean Berko Gleason study which reveals surprising results. Bellinger and Gleason found that fathers" speech to their young children was both more direct and indirect than their mother's speech.


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