Many times he would intentionally try to make me feel sorry for him, so that I would give him what he needed, moaning and groaning about his back aches just so that I would be made to feel so guilty, spending hours massaging his back. Or, his back was hurting too much to get up and get a beer, "Could you do it for me dear?" he would say. The child mind that I had, wanted so much to be devious and shake it up so that it would explode when he opened it. I truly believe that he, like Beauty's father, would have given me to the Beast to save himself pain or discomfort.
My reward for my obedience was that I got to show horses. However that always ended up being for him also. I had classes that I wanted to do, but I was only allowed to enter the classes that he felt were appropriate. So I was to think that even the good things in life, the fun things, should still only have the men's best interest at heart. I truly began to find fulfillment in pleasing others. Regardless of my own desires, everything that I did was for someone else.
As I started to enter my adolescence, developing much faster than the other girls in my class, I could tell that my father started to become more uncomfortable with me, and in turn began to make more demands of my time and loyalty. I never asked about dating, or even going out with friends, so as to not to cause him to be jealous. I desired so much to be like everyone else and have an active social life, but I was needed at home.
We moved to a new town when I was 16, I hated leaving all my friends behind. I was very shy, and knew I would have a hard time making new friends in this new place. A lot like when Beauty's father lost his wealth and they had to move to a new place, my father lost his ability to work due to an injury and we were in a new place with less than we were used to. But my father at the same time was pushing everyone away because of his deep depression.