"(p.320) While this single- minded seclusion would make him a great knight, it also kept him alone. He had no childhood friends, nobody to relate to, nobody to tell him that he was a good person. Consequently, his misgivings about himself took a firm root. Finally, Lancelot was filled with terrible, hateful thoughts toward himself and his face. The only job he could succeed in would be the knighthood, a profession in which a man is measured not by his looks, but by his strength. He was clinging to the dream that he would be able to become the best of them all and conquer his fears. Lancelot worked for a goal that he had to attain in order to prove to himself that he was not impure. He wished to become a heroic miracle worker. "He supported himself mainly on daydreams. He wanted to be the best knight in the world., and he wanted one other thing which was still possible in those days. He wanted, through his purity and excellence, to be able to perform an ordinary miracle."(p.323) Lancelot had to prove to himself that he was not evil. He knew that only the pure of heart could work miracles. If he could be pure and work miracles, then he would know that any inherent evilness he might have had would be taken away, and he would have nothing to be insecure about. In conclusion, Lancelot's childhood was a seedbed for his wretched self-image, but also a seedbed for his skills. Indeed, if he had not been so unconfident, he would not have worked as hard as he did, because the only reason he wanted to be a knight was to show that he was more than just a repugnant, vile-looking ape. Although his body grew since his childhood days, the adult Lancelot was still concerned with trying to overcompensate for his feelings of insecurity. When he became an adult, Lancelot did indeed become a great knight. He was the strongest in the land, and the noblest. Yet he still thought that he had not done enough. He was still trying to overcompensate.
