You may be wondering whom I am referring to when I speak of the Doritos girl. You may have seen her in the many commercials where she busts into a library or a laundry room biting into a Doritos chip while all the guys around her just look up in awe. The first time I saw one of her commercials, I knew that she was the girl of my dreams.
Her long brown hair, her light brown eyes, her soft lips and her fine body pulled me in and I knew I was hooked. With a girl that beautiful there always has to be a downside, unfortunately, that downside was Mario Lopez, the jerk from the show "Saved by the Bell". That jerk proposed to my doritos girl and she kindly accepted. From that point on I would always wonder "What If I beat Mario to the punch, and I married the doritos girl".
While waking up every morning I see my beautiful woman lying next to me and I say to myself " I have to be the luckiest guy in the world." When she wakes up in the morning she is still the most beautiful woman in the world, even with morning breath. Our house is of course huge. She brings in the money by modeling and I have my own successful talk show, different from all the other pointless talk shows such as "The Other Half", which by the way got cancelled. (I guess Mario Lopez was not made for the entertainment business). After a long hard day at work, I come home to a wife that is nearly half naked, and I say to myself "life is good!" She never cooks, because being the nice guy that I am; I always take my beautiful wife out for dinner. At dinner, she gets to order whatever she desires, for money is not a concern for me. When we finally get home from dinner I give her a massage, for I am an absolute gentlemen. We finally hit the sack, turn off the lights, and I do what any other guy would do if married to a beautiful model. The same cycle continues almost every day in my house, and life is great.
Life is fun when you"re married to the doritos girl.
