What is the difference between criticism and complaint? In the book "Why Marriages Succeed or Fail", written by John Gottman, Ph.D., I found an answer to this question. "Complaint is the specific statement of anger, displeasure, or other negativity. In that time, criticism is much less specific: it is more global; it may have blaming in it" (p.75). I can say with certainty that all people have faced criticism or complaint in their own lives, which means that everyone has different ideas about that. .
Therefore, it is reasonable to admit that complaint or criticism both could be the reasons "why marriages fail". It is no secret that when people walk down the aisle, they expect to stay married to the same person until "death do them apart."However, is it always the case? According to a great author John Gottman, the statistics of failing marriages are getting worse and worse with every year. The first thing that damages a relationship or a marriage is criticism. Criticism, according to professor Gottman, is "attacking a person's character rather than a specific behavior, usually done with blame." When you criticize your partner, it mostly happens because of a feeling of betrayal or lack of love. You want to make other responsible for the negative feeling going through your mind, which means, blame them. That is why, criticizing means attacking the person, not their action. In my opinion, in most cases, people just get used to criticizing another person, that it becomes a habitual act. Moreover, it also becomes natural. Others might think of criticism as something positive. They say that it helps people to improve what they did not do well. For instance, if I was criticized by my partner or at my job, that I was not doing the best I could, I would have used it as a guide to how I could improve and become better and more successful. .
On the other hand, complaint happens when you are not satisfied with your partner's actions.