Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. Although this statement issues from the mouth of many a child who has been peppered with unsavory identities, it cannot be further from the truth. Every human is influenced so profoundly and in so many ways by the thoughts of others regardless of their context, connotation or meaning. In all probability, no one will ever be able to free themselves from those thoughts because humans, by nature, are social beings and all of us subconsciously long for acceptance whether or not we want to admit it to ourselves . No matter how hard one tries she cannot become an emotionless statue. The key to dealing with others ' conceptions, attitudes or thoughts towards us is to put them in perspective. Knowing ourself, having a realistic perception of our being and building strong self-esteem is the path that can take us closest to our destination: independence from with others' thoughts.
Humans have an innate need to to form bonds with each other and to congregate in groups. The group provides us with a feeling of security while the intimate bonds indicate acceptance, one of the greatest social needs we all share. Unbeknownst to ourselves, we let friends or loved ones critique us. We look for signals--body language and facial gestures--that reveal to us the esteem in which we are held. Prompted by negative signals, we will change our behavior to garner a more favorable outcome. Verble critiques, like insults or praises, encourage a stronger response. Humans base a majority of their behaviors on the responses they will illicit others. And in doing so, our emotions can become based on thoughts that are not our own. .
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. This principle from the great physicist Isaac Newton is taught to pertain to physical qualities of the natural world, but interestingly it can also pertain to our interactions with others.
