The combined way we look at ourselves and others constitutes as our life position. A life position can be formed at any point in life. Most commonly, life positions are decided upon during the early childhood years. Are your childhood memories filled with you and your parents spending a lot of time together? Or do you remember your parents fighting all the time and you spending most of your time by yourself? Growing up, did you feel that your parents loved you for who you were? Or did you feel that you had to prove yourself to your parents in an attempt to win their love and affection? Were you showered with love and affection growing up? Or did you often fall victim to malicious torment at the hands of your parents? However you answered these question implies as to which life position you have and possibly answers the question why. The four life position are "I"m not okay, you"re okay", "I"m not okay, you"re not okay", "I"m okay, you"re not okay", and "I okay, you"re okay". In this paper, I will differentiate between the four positions.
The first life position is "I"m not okay, you"re okay". This position often time stems from a persons lack of ability to see themselves in a positive light. The are out of tune with how they should feel about themselves, so they base their self-perception off of how others perceive and react to them. If they are indirectly or directly told that they are dumb, they will believe it to be fact. Since they have no clear notion as to who they are, they will most likely feel that this persons observation or assumptions are factual and therefore will not question it. Instead, they will find ways to try to please that person. I call people in this position "pleasers" because they crave attention and positive recognition from people they care about. So that person who is repeatedly told that they are dumb, may try to excel in school in order to receive recognition from the person who called them dumb.