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Kids before marriage or marriage before kids

            In this review I am not talking about people who have already had kids before marriage. If you got pregnant before marriage please don't get all offended. I am not judging people after the fact. This is more geared to people who have not had any kids and who are not married yet. I am not calling those kids accidents or mistakes. Hearing those things spoken about a child makes my blood boil. I am talking about a couple who makes a decision to wait to get pregnant. It shocks me that there are unplanned pregnancies at all in this age of advanced birth control technologies not to mention abstinence. Sure unplanned pregnancies do happen when birth control is used properly. Properly being the key word. Read the direction. Pretty simple. I know that sounds harsh but it is the truth.
             What I am saying is do yourself and most importantly your future kids a favor and wait to get pregnant. Wait until you are married. Wait until you get to know each other. Wait until you talk about what your expectations of a family and of being a parent are. Becoming a parent is the most earth moving and stressful experience you will ever encounter. Add to that the fact that you are in a brand new marriage and it could mean trouble. I am not saying that all couples who get pregnant before marriage have major problems but a lot do. .
             The first year of marriage is a period of great adjustment. You may think that you know each other inside and out but you will be surprised at how much you do not know about your beloved. I do not mean this in an entirely negative way. You may find out about some wonderful aspects of your spouses personality! It really helps a marriage to go through this year and sometimes longer without the added stress of a pregnancy and impending arrival of that third person. There have been a lot of studies released in recent years talking about how the fact that when a couple lives together before marriage their marital success rate drops significantly.

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