Neil feels like an "embarrassed adolescent" (Leavitt 690) when he thinks back on or is confronted with anything that refers to his sexuality. These two quotes contain valuable insights that the reader gains from the author's use of the third person. Neil feels that he has to incorporate all the different aspects of his life into one essence, and bringing Wayne to his mother's home means attempting to join those two separate areas. This interpretation of the text is supported by Neil's reluctance to bring Wayne, his lover, home to meet his mother after planning to do so. "Neil wants to go to a motel, but Wayne insists on being pragmatic.Neil reminds himself that he loves this man, that there is a reason for him to bring this man home" (Leavitt 692). This excerpt shows clearly Neil's insecurity and hints at a fear of confrontation; this fear is made clear when Neil thinks about Wayne's arrival. "[Neil] feels renewed terror at the thought that Wayne will be here soon: Will they make love? He has never had sex in his parent's house. How can he be expected to be a good lover here, in this place of his childhood, of his earliest shame, in this household of mothers and dogs?" (Leavitt 690). .
There are many important clues that convey Neil's feelings and perceptions in this except. Neil is terrified to bring his lover home, and as stated earlier in this analysis, would prefer to go to a motel. He fears bringing Wayne home not because of Wayne, but because of himself. Neil does not want to deal with the confrontation between himself, his mother and Wayne. There is no reason his mother would not be open to Wayne's visit since she knows about his visit already and is expecting them, but Neil is so worried about the actual meeting that he wants to avoid it completely. Moreover, once the event has passed, the reader sees that Neil's worries are ill founded. "So the dread moment passes and he might as well not even been there (Leavitt 692).
