"Home Burial" is about an episode in the marriage of a couple whose personalities are stoic and unimaginative and because their lives are wrecked because of the death of their first child. Their emotions are also typical that one might expect of young parents who have abruptly and, to them, inexplicably lost their baby. To some extent, it is easy to sympathize with both husband and wife, both are grieving, not only the loss of their child, but also the perceived loss of one another. Yet their loss of each other, as such things often occur, is driven by their own self-absorption and insensitivity to one another's feelings. The intimidation seems unintentional. The husband is trying to make a connection with his wife, trying to understand. Although his insistence sounds peremptory, (Line 13-16) she has designated herself the sufferer and him the tormentor. The tone used in this poem is one of bitterness, resentment, anger, and anguish. When reading this poem, one can sense the anguish the mother is going through and can hear the resentment in the voices of both parents.
The husband in this poem buries his child in the backyard because he believes that taking care of ones own family is considered appropriate. The couple's differences are of personality and gender expectation. He subscribes to a patriarchal view of the relationship of husband and wife. This is customary for him because he has never experienced any other way and this is how he deals with death. He feels sad for his dead child and he feels that he must move on with his life. He digs the grave and then tries to focus on other things. He worries about the fence and does not even realize that he can see the child's grave from the window. It's not that he does not care. He just cannot deal with it the same way that the woman can. It was the lifestyle of men during the early 1900's to not show feelings. He did not know how to show feelings.
