If you stop to think about it, it is not surprising that newlyweds begin to drift apart. Throughout life, individuals move through phases. Theses phases call for continual reassessment and renegotiating of the marriage "contract" that was agreed upon initially. One issue that slowly erodes the marital foundation is inevitable changes that accompany aging. As a person ages, hopefully they are maturing emotionally. When a couple exchanges vows, the commitment of being married, with all the rights and privileges, are foremost in their minds. They have had some form of courtship. They are seeing what they want to see in each other and truly expect to live happily ever after. But after the honeymoon bliss, the marriage begins to move through phases.
In the establishing phase, couples" focus on what will make them competent members of society. This includes proving themselves in a chosen career, buying a home, and planning parenthood. While these are worthwhile pursuits, they can be barriers to intimacy, causing couples to disengage from each other. .
Once their lifestyle is established, midlife brings changes in values and priorities. This holds some emotional and physical transitions, such as recognizing time is moving swiftly and bodies are changing. Wrinkles appear and hair disappears, except in places where it was never wanted. Uninvited pounds and inches crash the party, and you find yourself getting tired more easily. Dealing with an empty nest and caring for aging parents soon follow. Therefore, these things can force couples to react to each other more intensely. .
Poet Robert Browning penned these sentiments to his wife, "Come grow old with me, the best is yet to be." Retirement often brings out the deepest expressions of love or unspeakable loneliness. .
As a couple moves through these phases, they may drift away from what a marriage is meant to be. When the "for better or for worse" vows are exchanged, nobody really considers the "for worse" part.
