Not only did the differences between Tannen and her husband cultural environment come in between their marriage, but also, Tannen found her true existence in the world of social linguists. At the age of twenty-eight, Tannen was divorced, and English literature teacher, and very unhappy. Therefore, Tannen decided to further her education and get her Ph.D. in linguistics at the University of California at Berkeley. In addition, after Tannen received her Ph.D., her life turned around for the better and now lives a happy, fulfilling, and successful life, by teaching Cross-Cultural Communication and having a successful marriage.
The reason for Dr. Tannen's decision to take up linguistics and major in the field with other linguists, is due from experiences Tannen had in her first marriage, which she writes about in her book; You Just Don't Understand. In Dr. Tannen's book, You Just Don't Understand, she talks about men and women in conversation and explains her theory how cultural background, age, gender, and individual personalities plays a big role in why men and women misunderstand each other. Dr. Tannen uses her first marriage to a Greek man, as an example because it explains her theory. Dr. Tannen's first husband, who is from Greece, grew up in a time where most people did not agree that men and women had equal rights and men were superior in their families. Therefore, during her five years of marriage, Dr. Tannen heard constantly from her husband,I do not give you the right to raise your voice at me, because you are a woman and I am a man?(23), which Dr. Tannen knew was unfair. Even though Dr. Tannen knew this was unfair, she understood where her husband was coming from and why he said the things that he did. Her husband did not understand why Dr. Tannen had a problem with his views and beliefs because this is how he was raised; instead, he thought that Dr. Tannen was the crazy one and just wanted to be difficult because he honestly believed that he had to have control in the marriage because he is superior.
