A family history of alcoholism can lead teenagers to engage in similar self-destructive behavior. A parent who abuses alcohol has a more difficult time being attentive to his or her child. And alcoholism is clearly linked to suicide. Children living with addicted family members are at a 30% higher risk for suicidal behavior.
A suicidal teen may reflect his family's troubles. Of the families of teenagers who had killed themselves, nearly all of the teen's parents were depressed and had thought about suicide. And depression may be passed down from parents to children. Researchers have determined that children with a depressed parent stand a 20 to 30 percent chance of being depressed.
Some parents unknowingly transmit the message: "I won't love you unless- The "unless" might involve grades, sports achievements, or popularity. These parents push their children to achieve what they weren't able to. Insecure parents see their children as status symbols rather than people, and feel that the number of trophies and awards the kids accumulate show how successful they are as parents. A child's sense of self-worth may be so tied to top grades or outstanding athletic performances that a bad mark or off game may be enough to make him think of suicide. Parents who have unrealistic expectations for their children are setting them up for failure. Parents need to reinforce their unconditional love for their children, love that is unrelated to any achievements.
Some families project a perfect image. There are no problems, or so it seems. Teens who are raised to believe that people should be constantly happy and have no troubles will be confused and depressed adults. The happiest people aren't the ones with the fewest problems; they are the ones with best problem solving skills. Parents must teach their children how to deal with pain and problems, not how to ignore and avoid them. Pain and problems are part of living.
