Thanks to Snow White's great metabolism she did not gain one pound even if the only thing she did was sit on the couch, watch television, and eat bon-bons all day. Her favorite show was Jerry Springer; she watched it everyday and even stayed up late for re-runs. She would like to pretend that she could blow up the beautiful guests. .
One day Snow White heard a knock on her door, it was her landlord. He informed her by note of course that she had not paid rent in over five years and that she had to move out if she did not start paying rent. Being very angry Snow White knocked down a wall with her bare fist and gritted her teeth until her mouth was bleeding. She went to find her landlord only to notice a note on his door that said left town for several years, please deposit rent in the mail slot, thank you management "Well what the flippin hell am I am gonna do now" said Snow.
Meanwhile, in another kingdom across the river another beautiful maiden was bring born to a lonely couple that have always wanted children. The mother and father of this beautiful child were enjoying there day until (dramatic pause) Snow White entered the castle. Unknown of her presence the king and queen carried on with their plans; they called in the three fairies and each fairy brought with it a blessing. The first fairy who was wearing tie dye, either that or she put too much bleach in her wash gave the child the gift of a no nonsense attitude, the second fairy who choose to wore, lets just say it looked like a mixture of saran wrap and aluminum foil gave the child the gift of a nice looking face. Before the third fairy could give the child her gift the attention seeking Snow White started to throw a hiss fit because no one was paying attention to her. I have a gift, I have a gift proclaimed Snow White; although in reality the gift was more like a curse Snow White said by the child's 16th birthday she will be struck down by the look of a beautiful maiden, not just any beautiful maiden one with ebony hair, pale skin, and lips the color of rubies.
