What Happens to the Children When Mommy and Daddy Divorce?.
As the divorce rate rises to roughly 50%, one can imagine all the problems, mental, emotional, and financial, that go along with it. One of the main problems, that many people overlook, is what happens to the children who are involved in this process. According to psychologists, "divorce is only slightly less traumatic for children than the death of a parent" (Lansky 29).
Many people have tried to figure out just how it is that children either cope or do not with divorce. Many psychologists and authors have tried to tackle the question but only a few have succeeded. Few have actually figured out what it is that children go through, and the short and long-term effects divorce has on them.
Deborah Tannen's essay "Sex, Lies, and Conversation" is a good place to turn to find the main reason for divorce, which she says is lack of communication. Tannen discusses how many men are, in fact, very chatty people outside of the home, but once they get to their home, they quickly become quiet and not talkative. Tannen has conducted various interviews to help write her papers and books, and she says that "most of the women she interviewed-but only a few men-gave lack of communication as the reason for their divorces. Given the current divorce rate of nearly 50 percent, that amounts to millions of cases in the United States every year- a virtual epidemic of failed conversation" (152). She then goes on to discuss the different ways in which young boys and girls are "taught" to communicate. Women and girls are used to having very close and intimate relationships where communication is a key element. Men and boys, on the other hand, are more used to doing things together rather than sitting around and .
talking. Girls are raised to express their feelings while boys are raised to believe that if they cry or show some emotion they are weak.