One parent taking the load could lead to absolute disaster. Some children will suffer more if the marital discord is covert instead of out in the open. Sometimes parents feel they can protect their child from pain by shielding them from the truth.
Parents who are going through divorce often believe that shielding children from the stress of the situation is in the child's best interest. Regardless of their parent's good intentions, children often find themselves caught in the emotional whirlpool.
There are things parents can do to help their children deal with the stresses and painful feelings divorce creates. Explain the changes (and for older children, your expectations of them) and invite questions. Reassure your child that you still care and will support him/her. Remind him/her that you are there to talk out hurt and angry feelings. The parent should state clearly that the divorce is a final decision and that the children should not waste their time trying to bring their parents back together. Be honest and truthful without burdening your child with details she/he can not understand. Allow children to make suggestions in matters that concern them, but they should not be made to feel responsible for making major decisions. Be prepared as a parent to repeat information and reassure the child at different times and different ways. Parents need to act mature. Arguments and tension between parents may make children feel guilty, by trying to have the child take sides or turn against the other parent. This merely places the child in the middle of an adult struggle.
Knowing How Children at Different Developmental Stages Handle Divorce.
Knowing how children handle the divorce at different stages helps the parent recognize the signs of emotional strain in their children in order to meet their unspoken needs. The table below will let you know the different ages, feelings and sign and symptoms children will go through.