These words stay in your subconscious and have long term effects. The abuse is even more painful when the words come from someone you love; their words hurt like stabbing a knife through your heart. Victims who have to deal with domestic violence always feel alone and have no idea how to deal with the situation. They learn to endure abuse and remain in their unhealthy relationship (LaViolette and Barnett, line 15) "I just had to deal with it. I didn't see any option for me. I was completely dependent on him. He isolated me from the people I loved the most. He made sure I had no one to go to and ask for help. I constantly repeated to myself that I was strong enough to deal with the situation, even when deep inside I knew I didn't have any control over the situation" (Barbara). Barbara's feelings can be described through the following lyrics, "I can hold the weight of worlds" (line 21) "I'll get through it" (line 26). Those quotes are an example of some of the thoughts that go through a battered woman's head. When a woman is in an abusive relationship, they are often forced by their partners to pretend like everything is perfect. Meanwhile, no one knows that behind the walls of a "perfect" home, there is a victim silently crying for help.
Physical abuse begins with excused "trivial contacts", which can involve rough play, pinching, pushing, jealous behavior, possessiveness, a bad temper and unpredictability. These are just some of the signs that indicate that the partner has the potential to become an abuser. These are traits that might not important at first, but that may escalate into more frequent and serious attacks as time progresses. Barbara stated, "For me, it started with verbal abuse and with time it escalated to physical abuse. He became really controlling of me." The abuser destroys the women's self-esteem by constantly abusing her verbally and gains control by becoming physical.